Vulnerability: Strength, Not Weakness

Vulnerability: Strength, Not Weakness

I’ve been researching Vulnerability this week. I have a lot more research I need to do on the subject, but reading just a few articles this week and discussing the concept with friends I find myself challenged. I have to admit I have a problem being vulnerable with people I want to be able to be vulnerable with me. I have a problem trusting in those I want trust from. This marks a need for further study and reflection.

We first have to understand what vulnerability is. I’ve seen many social media posts that tell us not to be vulnerable. Common posts tell us to stay silent and let people notice our success after it happens and not to speak on our goals. Ultimately, I feel the underlying message in this type of advice is to keep to ourselves and not to trust anyone. I’d like to see some feedback from experts like Brene Brown on this concept.

To be vulnerable means risking harm or damage (Halvorson, 2018). Being vulnerable is experiencing emotions and working through them. But vulnerability is also a key ingredient in healthy, fulfilling relationships. Brene Brown defines it as the “emotional risk, exposure, and uncertainty” that “fuel our daily lives” (Borresen, 2019). Mark Manson says “vulnerability is consciously choosing to NOT hide your emotions or desires from others” (Manson, 2019). I would convince you that to be vulnerable is to be “real”.

It’s important to be vulnerable. We all actually prefer to surround ourselves with vulnerable people because we can see them for who they are. We all know people who are constantly on guard, saying whatever they think is “best” in particular conversation even though it isn’t what they truly believe. We have a word for people who know how to be vulnerable. We call them “real.” We also have a word for people who do not know how to be vulnerable. We call them “fake.”

We all know the difference between “real” and “fake” people. We can all think of examples of people in our lives that are “real” and those that are “fake.” 

“Real” people listen to us and share their honest opinions. They give us part of their souls as they share their true emotions and feelings. “Fake” people tell us what they think we want to hear. They tell us very little about themselves or their own emotions. We rarely trust “fake” people.

Mark Manson does an excellent job of explaining what vulnerability isn’t and gives us some techniques to help us become more vulnerable, more genuine with people (Manson, 2019). We should strive to be more vulnerable with the people around us. By doing so we are given greater opportunity to build strong friendships and romantic relationships. Being vulnerable also helps us to process and understand our own emotions.

Works Cited

Borresen, K. (2019, October 24). How To Be More Vulnerable In Your Relationship (Even If It Scares You). Huffpost. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-to-be-more-vulnerable-relationships_l_5daf65b0e4b0f34e3a7e0abd

Halvorson, O. (2018, August 22). The Importance of Being Vulnerable. Medium.com. https://medium.com/publishous/the-importance-of-being-vulnerable-80a337a63464

Manson, M. (2019, August 19). Vulnerability: The Key to Better Relationships. Mark manson. https://markmanson.net/vulnerability-in-relationships