Self-Talk is Bullshit - Stop Hiding, Start Acting - A Rant

I have to say it. I’m really sick of all the positive self-talk memes that constantly flood our Social Media. I’ve seen countless memes telling people how important they are, how much better they are than other people, how they are exactly who they are supposed to be. It’s bullshit, and I think it is honestly getting in the way of people’s ability to grow.

I constantly see posts about not allowing other people to be negative influences on our psyche, and I do agree with that at its core, but what if I told you feedback from anyone is still feedback. The most evil people in the world will attack your greatest vulnerabilities because that is where you are weak. Telling myself “that person is just evil and I deserve better,” doesn’t actually help me work on my weakness. 

I do believe there is power in both negative and positive self-talk. I believe good self-talk can keep us thinking in the right ways. We can remind ourselves we are strong enough to deal with the situation we’re in. We can convince ourselves to keep driving forward toward our goals. On the contrary, negative self-talk tells us we aren’t good enough, we never will be, and we should probably just quit. Clearly we need to avoid negative thoughts.

I challenge however, that positive self-talk without action isn’t as powerful as we need it to be. We can’t just tell ourselves we’re awesome like everyone wants us to believe. We aren’t special. We aren’t entitled to perfection. Being extraordinary requires disciplined self reflection, initiative, and action toward the goals we want and sometimes need to achieve.

Unpopular opinion: Sometimes you’re the one that’s wrong. Sometimes you’re the person that needs to listen to other people when they say you need to work on some things. Sometimes that feedback, those criticisms, can drive self-reflection and growth. If we allow our self-talk to get in the way of reflection, we will never grow. If we can’t look internally to see our own faults, we can’t manifest ourselves into greater beings. 

Sometimes we are wrong. Sometimes we need to admit that, not to others, but to ourselves. The power of self reflection is that it enables us to take feedback and criticisms, even the ones that are grotesquely harsh and mean, and learn from them.

Do not shy away from the people that attack you. Pay attention to them. They will teach you where you are weakest. They will show you the areas you most need to work on. Then, use that information for your own personal gain. After you have strengthened those areas, then you will be ready to move on. After growth, you can rise to bigger challenges. Do not turn a blind eye to vulnerabilities, embrace them and turn them into strengths.