Dad Bod vs. Six-pack: Understanding Primal Urges

Last week’s post sparked good discussion. I was challenged in stating that Dad Bods are not preferred by the average woman. It’s worth expanding however, because my short statement does sound like I’m claiming we are all shallow.

I won’t say that attraction is purely physical. Attraction even complex on completely primal levels. Foregoing primal attraction however, writing it off and telling ourselves and each other that such things are shallow, doesn’t give due respect to what makes us human.

Before I expand, I need to define, in my way, primal attraction. The idea of primal attraction is based in the evolution of mankind and societies across the globe. Long ago, every day was a fight for survival. To be human meant to hunt, gather, and avoid death. Being human meant we constantly worried about our next meal as well as becoming a meal or someone else taking our resources forcefully. People fought and killed each other over lands that produced food and were close to water. People killed each other because they wanted to take what other people had.

For all these reasons, societies began to form. Tribes were created. People banded together for protection of loved ones, each other, and resources. With the evolution of tribes, man had time to think, tools were developed that made life even easier. We learned we could work the soil and grow food. We learned to craft weapons to make hunting easier and to better defend ourselves from other tribes that wanted what we had.

Tribal life was very different than the lives most of us experience today. Our ancestors had to be assets to their tribe. Each person was either asset or liability. Hunters were assets. Gatherers were assets. Resources were assets. The most import asset of all during ancient times were people. People held great value if they were an asset to their tribe. Assets were attractive on a primal level.

In ancient times, all that mattered to most people was primal attraction. Men were, and still are, attracted to women with large “childbearing hips” because on a primal level it means that woman is more likely to produce children. Those women are less likely to die during childbirth. Women were, and are, attracted to men that look strong. A man’s strength in primal humanity means he can defend the tribe and the family from aggressors. A strong man can defend his resources. He can fight off the Saber Tooth or the raiders from other tribes. He can work the land and producing food. A strong man is capable and an asset.

A fat man is slow and incapable. A fat man, the guy with the beer belly, didn’t know how to work, didn’t hunt, and would die quickly in a fight against most opponents. A fat man was incapable of defending his tribe. He was a liability and unwanted. A fat man was, and is, not attractive.

Today, most of us aren’t truly this shallow. We can look beyond someone’s physical appearance and see the other qualities a person has. We have time now to look for things beyond a man’s ability to fight or a woman’s ability to produce children. I am not suggesting we remain so primal that we cannot look beyond physical appearance. I am however, suggesting that none should discount the fact these primal urges remain.

Dad Bod is a very lose term. It is something between a guy with a six-pack and a guy that is completely obese. Nobody today will say an obese person is more attractive than a guy with a six-pack. If they tell you that, they are lying. If they believe that, they are lying to themselves.

I’m not saying you must have a six-pack to be physically attractive. I am saying you need to look strong to be physically attractive. You need to look like someone that can carry themselves. You need to look like you can defend your tribe if called to do so. You need look like you could work the fields if needed. You need to look like someone that can and will defend their family, their tribe.

We have all heard or read many women say they are turned off by a guy with the six-pack for various reasons. These are men that care too much about themselves. These are guys that spend more time at the gym than they do at work or at home. These are men that look too good, better than their women. The problem I have with these assessments, is they are completely intellectual or emotional, not physical, not primal.

Everyone is familiar with the movie Magic Mike. Do we honestly believe that movie would have done so well if all the actors had Dad Bods instead of six-packs? Are we really willing to sell ourselves on that lie? Women don’t go to Chippendale’s to see guys with Dad Bods. They go to satisfy their primal urges. Women watch that movie and go to male strip clubs because it appeals to their primal side.

I do believe we are all deeper than that. If we can be a little better however, why aren’t we striving for that? If I am emotionally and intellectually attractive to my partner, why not make myself an even more attractive partner? Why not be the very best I can be so I can always be attractive to my partner? I don’t want to just be eye candy for my girl. I would never suggest that, and it goes against most of what I write about and believe. I do, however, want to appeal to my girl’s primal side as well as her other sides. I want to appeal to her shallow side and her deep side.

Men, we know each other well. You know your lady’s worth. You also know how the minds of men work. You know there are men out there that see what you have and want it. There are men out there that want to take from you. If you aren’t prepared to defend what is yours, they will boldly come after it. If other men see you as weak, they will walk over you.

I challenge you to ask yourself and answer honestly. Are you an asset to your tribe? Do you appeal to the primal needs of your tribe? Or are you a liability?

https://whateverhappenedtohonor.blogspot.com/2021/05/grab-yourself-by-balls-and-be-man.html