Grab Yourself by the Balls and Be a Man!

 

Grab Yourself by the Balls and Be a Man!

I spent some time this weekend with friends and met some new people. One couple I met this weekend, I would argue, may be headed down a dangerous path. I’m not sure, I’m an outsider and I don’t know what works best for them, but it was a path I would not recommend. Actually, it became the source of later conversations and now, this writing. The husband has put his balls in his wife’s purse.

The couple I met this weekend is completely typical. Actually, we all know couples like this and may even be in relationships exactly like theirs. We all know the husband. He is the dutiful man, working and living his life in a very emasculated, subservient way. He seeks his wife’s permission for everything. He drives the car his wife thought was best for the family. He doesn’t golf or otherwise get out on his own to keep track of his own mental and emotional health or spend time with the guys.

She is also typical. She allowed him to buy a motorcycle. She tells him how to do things more than asks him to do things. She absolutely wears the pants and is in charge of the relationship. I certainly didn’t ask, but I guarantee she withholds sex as way of punishing, wields it as a weapon.

The sad thing, I think, is this is not only a typical relationship, but it is one likely doomed. The utter emasculation of a man in a relationship not only has detrimental impacts on the man, but risks erasing much of what made him attractive from the beginning of the relationship, his masculinity. Despite social norms, I do not believe women actually are primally attracted to beta males anymore than they are attracted to dad-bods. It’s a fallacy, a lie told by society so people feel better about themselves. The way so many American women work to fatten and subjugate their husbands is both sad, and counter-productive.

I do think women do this for a reason, I just think they underestimate the long-term impacts of the approach (I’m speaking in general terms). I think many women DO like, in the eyes of other women, to make their men look less attractive. I don’t think this is intentional, but I think it adds a sense of security to the average woman. By being married to a man that isn’t attractive to other women, there is less concern he will cheat, less concern he will leave, and more assurance in the security that is marriage and family. An overweight beta male is less likely to get hit on by other women. He is less likely to hit on women and receive positive feedback. He is more likely to come back home where he feels secure knowing he has a woman that does love him, even if she doesn’t always show him that love. I think that security is false however, because if you really asked the man in that relationship how he felt, he would probably tell you he feels unloved and disrespected.

Men, if you are allowing yourself to become a fattened beta subject to your significant other, you are failing yourself and you are on the path to separation. Regardless of how many times she says she prefers your dad bod, she doesn’t. Unless she has some sort of genetic defect that tells her body NOT to reproduce with the strongest, most likely to survive father of her offspring, she prefers a fit man capable of throwing her over her shoulder and carrying her to his cave. Regardless of how much of a fight she puts up against the idea of you winning and establishing your masculine energy, she probably wants you to, and is going to get a little turned on by your stubborn, masculine energy. Assuming you aren’t doing anything wrong, and aren’t doing anything that will risk your relationship or your tribal (family) goals, you have no reason to secede your point. Truth be told, she wants to know that you are more of a man than she is. She needs to know it. You are the man in your relationship, right?

I’m certainly not someone that can tell you what is right for your relationship, but I don’t believe in losing yourself to someone else. If you have agreed upon tribal goals and a way forward, you should be working together on that, but you also need to be true to yourself. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to always agree, it just means you’re going in the same direction and you’re going that way together because you want to. You can’t agree just because its what one person wants. You’ll quickly find yourself working in different directions assuming you’re working together and not realize you’ve grown apart until you are years down the road. You need to be the best you possible. You need to be fit. You need to be strong. These things that make you a better you make you a better asset to your tribe. They make you more attractive to your significant other. They make you more attractive to other women too, this is true, but they don’t matter. Your tribe matters, so be the best you possible for them, the rest will take care of themselves.

If you disagree, grab yourself by the balls and disagree. That is truth. That is honesty. That is honorable. If something is worth fighting for, grab yourself by the balls and fight. Fight for what is right. Fight for the sake of being true to yourself. Fight for what is yours.